It seems unlikely that North London fan TS Eliot was an Arsenal fan, but his poem suggests otherwise.
“April is the cruelest month,” begins The Waste Land. “I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,” says J. Alfred Prufrock’s The Love Song. “This is the way the challenge ends; not with a bang but a whimper,” probably the first draft of The Hollow Men.
Sunday was a disappointing day not just for Arsenal and Liverpool fans, but neutrals who wanted to see the three-way title battle continue. Liverpool’s 1-0 defeat at Crystal Palace and Arsenal’s 2-0 defeat at Villa left Manchester City two points clear at the top of the league and, as frontrunners, Pep Guardiola’s side almost infallible.
“I know everything, I know everything,” Eliot moaned. But have fun, Tommy. There is still hope.
Here are 10 completely realistic reasons why City could still drop points.
This is a serious article, so let’s start seriously. Can a team do the treble twice in a row? With injuries piling up, games tripling, emotions running high — can City stir themselves up again?
There’s a reason why a treble — or a double, for that matter — is so rare. Plays in many competitions doing have an effect. When the margins are so tight, fatigue levels, tactical planning and mental freshness are all the more important.
When cup competitions are straight knockouts, league matches against lower-ranked opponents are naturally games that can lose focus. City host Real Madrid in the Champions League quarter-finals on Wednesday, play Chelsea in the FA Cup three days later, before traveling to Brighton five days later.
Guardiola has already said that City are in “big, big trouble” with fatigue and injuries. So surely that’s cause for hope for Liverpool and Arsenal?
Manchester City may need a bigger trophy room (Jan Kruger/Getty Images)
The Spurs
Won two, lost five. Has Guardiola ever had a record that bad? Teaming up with Lionel Messi in the crossbar challenge? Credit card roulette at Manchester’s best restaurants? Uno’s family game?
City have always struggled with Spurs. Their Premier League record in north London is poorer than any other fixture. Yes, they may have beaten them in the FA Cup this January — but that record doesn’t include their Champions League quarter-final defeat in 2019.
Every manager’s mind has a dark room where they store their worst defeats. Guardiola houses a Beavertown brewery and a retractable NFL field.
Tottenham may have been overwhelmed by Newcastle, but their meetings with City this season are close. They still have the Champions League to chase, and they won’t back down.
Guardiola tends to curtail league trips to the Tottenham Hotspur stadium (Michael Regan/Getty Images)
Is 30 goals in 37 matches really a down season? When did that make you, as suggested by Roy Keane, a League Two player? Anyway.
If Haaland fails to score for the rest of the season, maybe after something to talk about. For now, City’s rivals will just have to hope the tires come off.
Pep complicates it
“I’m always overthinking,” Guardiola said in 2022. “I’m always creating new tactics and ideas, and tomorrow you’ll see something new. I overthink so much, that’s why my results are so good. I love this.”
“If it works I’m brave, if it doesn’t work then I’m overthinking,” he added a year later. So go ahead – be brave.
Once you’ve played four centre-backs, why stop there?
Play the back four of Nathan Ake, Manuel Akanji, Ruben Dias, and Josko Gvardiol. John Stones is almost a central midfielder. Plonk Kyle Walker (yes, he counts as a centre-back) on the right wing.
The rest of them? Recall Taylor Harwood-Bellis from Southampton and put him up front in Andy Carroll’s role. At 6ft 5in (196cm), Finley Burns should be decent in the nets. Luke Mbete could return from Den Bosch and use his left foot from the left wing. Max Alleyne, at 18, has been on the bench this season. Want to join the Stones in the double pivot? There is already chatter about the technical quality of 16-year-old Stephen Mfuni. Put him at No 10.
Guardiola believes in total football. They will be fine. Once you’ve won them all, the only way left to win is to… win better.
Forest’s latest investment has finally come good
Imagine the scenario: Nottingham Forest are fighting for Premier League survival and are holding off City. In the 71st minute, Phil Foden finally put them ahead. Chris Wood put Forest back in it after 88 minutes. Bedlam.
But before the cheers die down, the whistle blows. VAR analysis. Suspected foul in the box. The referee walks over to the monitor. City Ground has seen this story before. But then he saw something in the crowd – and walked away.
In the midst of the celebration, the supporters paused for a moment. What changed the referee’s mind? They were looking for an answer — and they found it.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Mark Clattenburg.
This superhero doesn’t have a cape, but Forest’s referee consultant has regulations in front of him and justice at his back. Gotham City is safe from PGMOL. The Premier League table is a level again.
This is Clattenburg’s era (Mike Egerton/PA Images via Getty Images)
Rodri’s break turns into a gap year
Rodri says he needs a break, but remember this is a player living the lifestyle of a university student. He lives in student accommodation. He has a degree in business administration. He drives a second-hand Opel Corsa. He’s one step away from selling you £2 entry to Tuesday club nights at Pryzm.
“Spending time with young people like you,” he told Manchester City’s website when asked why he considered university the best time of his life. “Studies and goes out sometimes. It was good… a good time.”
But in recent months, at the height of the campaign — he has played 3,498 minutes for City in all competitions this season — he has certainly lost some of this purity.
“I need a break,” he told reporters after City’s 3-3 draw with Real Madrid, to the consternation of anyone attending the 9am lecture with a hangover.
A week is a short break, sure. But why not take three months? Why not find yourself? You’re only in your twenties once. British Airways offers student discounts on flights. There is a world out there to discover.
Rodri is frail and needs a gap year (Oscar J. Barroso/Europa Press via Getty Images)
“Jarrod, maaaaatehow are you cuz?”
“Gaffer? Gaffer? Gaffer? Moyesy?”
“Kalvin… how are the new digs? Passport renewed?”
Declan Rice’s phone bill never went up.
City host West Ham on the final day. By the time it starts, Rice has nothing left to do, except mind her own business. The real work, therefore, begins first. West Ham have nothing to play for — it’s time for that to change. Every negotiating card is on the table.
He sold his car to Lucas Paqueta. He is ready to leave the England squad in favor of Phillips. David Sullivan was promised his first child. West Ham win.
Roberto De Zerbi’s job interview to remember
This season has struggled slightly for Brighton & Hove Albion, who are 10th in the league and winless in four. Roberto De Zerbi, however, has been one of the most impressive managers of the last 18 months. Arguably, only Guardiola surpasses De Zerbi in pure madness, tactical improvisation.
In the summer, big jobs are open. Liverpool, Bayern Munich, Barcelona.
The Athletic It may have been reported on Saturday that Brighton are increasingly confident of De Zerbi’s stay, but it comes amid talks of a new contract being put on the back burner and the coach not being publicly committed to his future. .
Showing rather than telling is the first rule of job interviews – and De Zerbi has the chance to show his tactical acumen by avoiding Guardiola.
City initially countered Brighton’s initial use of an overlapping sweeper and a pressing pattern based on the Fibonacci sequence, but were upset by the inspired introduction of Jason Steele as an inverted trequartista.
No outwitting De Zerbi (Mike Morese/MI News/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
Gary O’Neil’s luck
Gary O’Neil seems like an unlikely contender on MTV’s Welcome To My Crib, but let’s imagine for a moment that he’s opened the doors to his Wolverhampton mansion.
The doormat is a four-leaf clover. As you enter, seven lucky cats wave their hellos. Rabbit’s feet hang from the beams in the kitchen. Mirrors are forbidden, O’Neil tells you, showing how he brushes his teeth in the reflection from the bathroom window.
There is an almost overpowering smell of incense.
No team has been unluckier than Wolves this season. O’Neil tried reason, he tried rationalization. He tried to avoid the stairs. All that’s left is faith… and Nathan Fraser.
Foden hits the bar. Jeremy Doku tripped over his laces. A wild shot from Max Kilman deflected off Hwang Hee-chan’s bum. Molineux exploded.
The city’s 115 cases reached an abrupt conclusion
The metaphorical gavel has fallen. White smoke is coming from the ceiling of Premier League HQ. This day was thought to be months away — but a decision was made.
City face 115 charges of breaching the Premier League’s financial rules over nine different seasons. If they are found guilty of at least some of them, point deductions are a realistic outcome.
Of course, the City will say it’s impossible, the most ridiculous suggestion on this list. After all, they vehemently deny the allegations and are working hard to prove their innocence.
DEEP
The Briefing: Arsenal and Liverpool must show title race isn’t over, it’s only two points
(Top images: Getty Images)
