Every year around this time, we marvel at the many creative ways baseball players find to appear on the ever-popular Strange But True Injuries of the Year leaderboard.
So we want to thank this year’s baseball population for … cooking breakfast … playing the piano … and doing their best to get in and out of their hotel bathroom safely. But you know what’s surprising? None of those mishaps topped this list!
Really? Yes really. So here they are, the Weirdest But True Accidents of 2023.
First prize: Eye confess!
We always give Injury of the Year bonus points to guys who get hurt while they’re already hurt. So here’s Rays relief warrior Pete Fairbanks, who can’t even cover the Giannis impersonation that got him into this mess.
When Fairbanks met with the Rays media delegation in June after returning from a stint on the injured list with hip inflammation, he brought a glaring black eye — and one of the great How I Did This stories of the 21st century.
This can happen to you too, if you try to dip your 3 year old in the pool.
“I dropped a pool basketball hoop on my face after dunking a 3-year-old,” Fairbanks admitted, “to teach him an early life lesson that, when you’re in the paint, you don’t get caught. nothing consciously under the edge.”
Of which we can only hope that his son said: Send it, Jerome!
Second prize: It’s all the alarm clock’s fault!
Yusei Kikuchi really needs his Z. (Rich Story / USA Today)
We’ve always thought of Blue Jays starter Yusei Kikuchi as a sleeping giant.
We know nothing!
Why did he make an early exit from a great September start at Yankee Stadium? Because he was tight, he said, after getting “only” 11 hours of sleep — contrary to his habit 12 to 14 hours. So he can’t lead the league in shutouts. But so what? You have to love his chances of leading the league in shuteye. And if this is your purpose in sleeping, T-shirts are available!
Third prize: When you (and your back) need to go
When Diamondbacks third baseman Evan Longoria strained his back in July, he was only supposed to miss a week or so. So why was it three weeks? Because, by his account, he aggravated his back get up in the bathroom in a hotel bathroom in San Francisco.
So you thought that making out could be detrimental to a baseball player’s career, huh? Be careful outside the house!
Fourth prize: There goes his walk ratio
Tony Gonsolin walks off the mound, victorious, during the start of July. (Jerome Miron / USA Today)
Need more proof that most spring training drills are overrated? Dodgers pitcher Tony Gonsolin went through a routine fielding drill during spring training last March — and got through the fielding part just fine. It turns out his exit strategy is what he should be doing.
He tripped walking off the field, sprained his ankle and missed the first four weeks of the season. But is it all worth it? He didn’t make a mistake all season!
Fifth prize: They had more time to be greater fathers
Finally, there were so many great dad moments this season … that led to not-so-great moments trying to get on the field … so we’re rounding them up here. If their families print it out and frame it, it should make a great Father’s Day gift.
• Giants pitcher Anthony DeSclafani breaks his toe … playing piano with his son!
• Adam Wainwright burned his finger … cooking breakfast for his son!
• Josh Donaldson sliced his thumb … while putting together a toy for his daughter!
All of that seems difficult. But hey, at least they didn’t try to dunk their kids in the pool.
The Year in the Weird But True
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(Top image of Pete Fairbanks: Patrick Smith/Getty Images)
