What is the sound of 488 golden retrievers barking?
Think of the sense of helplessness you might feel when someone’s baby is crying and you can’t solve the problem. Then multiply by, oh, 488. Then add the drenching rain and an onslaught of midges.
Why the cacophony? Around 4 pm on July 13, the dogs gathered on the wide lawn in front of the ruins of Guisachan House in the Scottish Highlands to take a group photo of the 2023 Guisachan Gathering, a sort of golden retriever convention, commemorating the anniversary of the breed’s founding.
For the photo, owners were instructed to tie their dog to a stake in the ground and then run away for about 15 seconds so the photographer, Lynn Kipps, could capture the wagging herd.
Fifteen seconds in golden retriever time is about an eternity, and 488 golden retrievers apparently believe they have been abandoned forever. And panicked.
“Tricia, darling, I’m over here,” a woman yelled at her girl, and because of that the barking got worse. Finally, after an eternity, the dog mothers and fathers returned to their dependents, and order was restored by a tsunami of petting and treats.
Since the first group photo was taken in 2001, the golden couple have come together every five years to pay tribute to Sir Dudley Marjoribanks, later Lord Tweedmouth, who lived in what was then Guisachan House. Sir Dudley is credited with developing the golden retriever in 1868, when he bred a wavy-coated retriever with a tweed water spaniel. He wanted a rugged hunting companion with a good head, loving disposition and soft, melting eyes who lived to hunt. An obsession with tennis balls and rolling in dirt also seems to be included in the package.
People and their dogs travel from all over the world to take part (dogs do not need to be quarantined to enter Scotland). Represented this year are Ireland, Bavaria, Switzerland, Czech Republic, United States, Australia, Canada and Croatia. Marta Farkas, 43 – “the name means wolf in my language” – traveled for three days from Hungary with a friend, her golden and four cocker spaniels.
Wayne and Sharon McGrath, 69 and 71, who have bred and raised goldens for 40 years, did not bring their dogs this year, but traveled from New South Wales, Australia. The McGraths have been coming to Guisachan almost since the event began, when it was just 30 gold and a dream. “Yes, we are a bit like Deadheads,” Mr. McGrath said.
This year’s gathering is the largest yet. Accommodations book up months in advance, and participants think they’ll bring more dogs if most B&Bs and camping sites don’t limit you to two. My son and I stayed at Westward Bed and Breakfast in Cannich, a perfect rustic stone cottage with traditional Scottish breakfasts, right next to the nature reserve of Glen Affric. Surprisingly, there are no golds in B&B. That’s because the resident terrier mix, Rass, “hates them,” says Alistair Mann, 57, our host.
What will you do when you get here? There are dog hunting demonstrations and dog shows. There was a “how to act in a show ring” class. For the people, there was a haggis hurling competition. The trip-to-Lourdes moment for many dogs and owners is posing in front of the brass golden retriever statue in the nearby village of Tomich. Pamela Burns, 55, had the look of someone checking off a bucket list item as she posed there with her dogs, Captain, Bear and Gabby.
And there are many, many opinions. Susan Goodwin, 74, a world-renowned breeder and judge from Durham, England, is openly concerned about the latest fashion for tails that curl upwards, chubbiness that looks lovely but isn’t necessarily healthy, and a particular leg deficiency. “How do I put this nicely?” said Ms. Goodwin. “You don’t want a dog shaped like a coffee table. Coffee table dogs are not good for the field.”
Many of the attendees were breeders, but some were simply pet owners, or gold stans. One man, a retired London police detective whose last gold died, explained it this way: “I’m an addict, and I come here to get my fix.”
This is not difficult to understand. We came because I missed my last, great gold, Monty, he with three balls in his mouth all the time.
Many come just to be in the Picture, the shot of all the dogs gathered in front of the ruins of the house. This year, two Americans who couldn’t fly their dogs brought life-sized cardboard cutouts instead. They put them front and center. “I have to tell them no, they won’t be counted in the tally, and if they want their dogs there at least put them somewhere in the middle of the pack,” said Ms. Kipps, the photographer.
Despite the breed’s enormous popularity, it has never won a gold Best in Show at either Westminster or Crufts (Britain’s largest and most prestigious dog shows). “It’s true: Goldens are not attractive,” said Carol Henry, 65, secretary of the Golden Retriever Club of Scotland and the chief organiser, with her husband Tom Gorrian, 68, of the Guisachan event.
But, of course, luxury isn’t the point (and neither, if we’re being honest here, is intelligence). The eyes are the point. Eternal sunniness is the point. The tufts of fur around the house and the joy of watching them with something, anything, in their mouths is the point.
I brought an envelope of Monty’s ashes to the gathering, and without anyone looking I scattered them in the grounds of Guisachan House. I suspect he is not alone there.
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